“So enamored of marriage was I that I tried it twice! What was I seeking by declaring my allegiance, first to Jean and later to Natacha? I was attempting to formalize one of my strongest desires, to have a true companion, one with whom I could share all aspects of my being. Such was my motivation. All of you have your own, equally as valid.
Marrying creates intention as well as a commitment for the individuals in question to stay in tune with each other, in other words, to keep pace with each other’s lives. Indeed, marriage is like dancing the paso doble (two-step) with gloves on, a little formal but quite enjoyable nonetheless. Both require good timing and lots of give and take. It’s a rare couple, however, that actually needs to have their relationship formalized, especially if both individuals have already committed themselves to each other of their own accord. They may, of course, choose to marry anyway ~ for a variety of reasons.
As a construct, marriage requires a lot of patience and due diligence. Tact, too, plays an important role. Enter into marriage prudently, with eyes wide open. After all, it is a rather strict institution, especially if taken at face value.
Here are a few more thoughts on union. For some, marriage may be seen as a way to cement ‘what is’ or a means to prevent a relationship from ending. Neither are particularly good reasons to marry. In the first instance, feelings can neither be captured nor frozen in time. In the second, separation rather than a coming together is what is most likely to occur.
On the other hand, marriage is a fine state of affairs for those who need to proclaim their intentions to the world, to underscore their commitment by publicly declaring their vows. Do get married if you are so inclined, especially if you and your partner are sure that you both want to experience that particular brand of societal binding. However, know that the sanctity of marriage exists primarily in our minds rather than on paper, and is supported by all actions conceived of and carried out in love.
Getting married ought to be a conscious move, a joint decision made freely by both parties. It may or may not involve a ceremony, however. Yes, Friends, marriage can also take place in a de facto way for those who will never see fit to do the paperwork or call a preacher. There is no surprise here. I simply want to reiterate that love trumps all. If love IS between two people then marriage also IS ~ whether or not the papers saying so have ever been signed on the dotted line.
Married or not, we must all be willing to make accommodations. There is room for all manner of variables in this world. Those who are excessively rigid in their thinking usually just end up being intractable!” ~ Rudolph Valentino
